Pain in the Neck

Disclaimer: I know this isn't Monday and I've already posted this week, but I feel wordy today. Sorry it's so long.

So, ya.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking from class toward the bus when I passed by a bunch of tables/ booths that were showcasing different companies that work hand-in-hand with UVU. This is a fairly frequent thing since there are plenty of companies that like to pander to college students. Most of the time I ignore them and head on my merry way, but sometimes I like to stroll and look for free junk (mainly pens).

On this particular day, for some reason, I resisted my urge to bulldoze my way through the crowded hallway casting my usual furtive glances that, if someone caught me checking out their booth, might have the look of "Don't talk to me!!".

I decided to stroll in a non-hurriedly type of pace and actually check some if this crap out. Maybe some of it won't actually be crap. It seemed unlikely since the first unsuspecting fellow to attempt to gain my attention was from Wells Fargo. Poor guy never saw it coming. As soon as he asked if I had a checking account I spun around, grabbed him by the coattails of his suit, pulled them over his head, sucker-punched him a couple times and stomped his foot for good measure! Not really, but I did tell him of the last experience I had with his company which could have felt like that to him if I hadn't been in a decent mood.

After I left the poor sap in a bloody heap (figuratively) on the floor, I walked further on and saw a weird contraption of two poles with a couple of strings going between them and a guy standing there looking like he needed something to do. It looked strange enough for someone like me to actually be interested in it so I decided to stop and talk for a moment.

It turned out that the guy was from

"The Official Chiropractor of the UVU Athletic Department!!!!"

Uh, ok... Anyway, his little contraption has you stand as straight as you can and it measures the alignment of your hips and shoulders. I always knew I was crooked as a question mark, but I figured I'd see if my body was as well. Turns out that my left hip was about half an inch higher than my right, and my left shoulder was a full inch LOWER than my right. Yup, I figured as much. I was nice to the guy and wrote down my contact info just for the fun of it and proceeded to now RUN to the bus since I lolligagged too long.

Well, about a week later I got a phone call from the chiro place and as luck would have it, I won the little drawing they had from their little expo. (I entered into a drawing?) The lady on the phone said I won about $200 worth of chiro tests and such, no strings attached and wanted to set up an appointment.

About a week after that phone call I went to my appointment and filled out the usual new patient paperwork while asking A COUPLE of times to make sure this was really free. Then I get in to see the chiropractor and tell him my aches and pains and whines and cries (or that's what it felt like cuz hey, I've never been to a place like this for myself before...). So, after the pity party, the Doc fondled my head and neck, took some x-rays and told me that was all he could do that day and he'd see me at the follow-up appointment. (A-HA! That's where I'm gonna have to pay!)So, I set the appointment and ask AGAIN what it was going to cost me, and again the answer was "Nothing." Nice!

So, I got to my next free date with the bone dancer yesterday. We exchanged pleasantries and he told me that it looked like someone tried to screw my head on the wrong way. My atlas bone was about 1/2 inch to the right of center and my C5 and C6 vertebrae were compressed giving my neck only 15 degrees of bend when it should have 35 to 45. I always knew I was stiff-necked.

Since it happened a couple times and I never got them fixed, (Car wreck 5 years ago and falling out of a tree about 15 years ago), I've done some semi-permanent damage and he wasn't sure how much he could do. We'd have to bone dance to find out. Well, I get to the chiro table and he does the usual once over to make sure there isn't anything else wrong with my back, hips and such. (Ok, not too bad.. I could get to like this..)

Then he gets to my neck.

A little wiggle to make sure I'm good and loose and the next thing I think of is that someone just crushed a soda can right next to my ear, and WOW that felt weird! Then he does it again the other direction. Same thing. The lady in the hallway calls out, "Wow! I heard that out here!"

Glad I could provide some entertainment for the place.

Long story short, The doc says he can work things out and I should be a bit sore for a bit. We'll see. I have my next appointment with the bone dancer today.